i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Randomize
