i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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