woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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