i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
