DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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