I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize