singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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