Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
