Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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