umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize