There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
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the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
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She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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