I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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