I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize