Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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