i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
