If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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