Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
