that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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