I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
