we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
