I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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