she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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