You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
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4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
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I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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