Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
