I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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