i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
