Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
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i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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