I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
