haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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