I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
