In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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