when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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