he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
