wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
