i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
