I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
