Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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