He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
