Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
