New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
