Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
