i just google imaged poop.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
