You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
