Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
