just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Two words: nipple clamps
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