hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
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I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
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he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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