We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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