I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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