How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
