Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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