I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am in a vortex of obligation.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
