I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
