real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
