I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
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I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
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It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
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