Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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