Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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