Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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